Tuesday, 12 August 2008

'They never said it would be easy. They just said it would be worth it'

Motherhood is tough, even more so when you are not a natural mother......I am not, rather a mother by trade...i live it, work it and have become it.

I am not one of these people who was born to become a mum, i never "mumsied" anyone, the fact is i fell pregnant and became one and i don't know how it happened- motherhood not the pregnancy that is.

The truth is before baby girl i was never a "kid person"... i never wanted to work with them, i never wanted to particularly hold them or play with them and i rarely cooed over them. Don't get me wrong I'd never run away screaming from them either ....i just didn't really have any interest in having one. So what happened? A drunken valentines night with M in 2005 happened and hey presto 9 months later baby girl happened!!! From then on i became a mother to someone......

I'm not gonna lie to you either its not been easy and as the title says "they never said it would be". i didn't feel that massive rush of love when she was placed on my chest rather a massive rush of what the hell do i do now???? I openly admit that i didn't like getting up in the middle of the night to have a little person sucking on my nipples till they were raw. I also didn't enjoy the countless nappy changes or being puked on. But i did it because well, it would be worth it in the end.

But then one day when it was just the two of us cuddled in the bath all that changed; i felt that rush of love. she was no longer just my responsibility or the person that kept me awake most of the night she was my daughter she was the light of my life, she was the person I'd give my life to protect, she was my proudest achievement she was the person I'd kick M out of bed for- everything became worth it.

As times gone by...

I have found that some days the "easy" parts are far and few between especially as Baby girl is not an easy child. She was NEVER an easy going baby either, rather an always on the go one who would rather be investigating and finding something interesting to destroy than sit still and basically be STILL.

Some days the "easy" parts don't exist....some days baby girl really likes to test the 'worth it in the end categories'.....these days just recently have involved Sh*t being spread up my walls and sometimes even eaten, these treats to do not resemble anything along the lines of worth it....

And so the quote...

Is motherhood easy? Not in any sense of the word.
Is it worth it in the end? Absolutely.


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